What Happens When the Other Parent Refuses to Follow A Court Order?
Child custody orders are legally binding and designed to serve the best interests of the child. But, one of the most frequent questions we get asked is what happens when the other parent doesn’t follow the custody order? Unfortunately, violations of custody orders are more common than people may realize, and when it happens, often lead to confusion, frustration, and serious legal consequences.
Whether the other parent is refusing visitation, not returning the child on time, or violating other aspects of the court order, it is important to understand your legal rights and what steps you can take. This week’s blog will cover some of what happens when a parent disobeys a custody order, how you may want to document violations, and what potential legal remedies are available.
Understanding Child Custody Orders
Child custody orders are issued by the court and dictate how time with the child is divided between parents. These orders can include both physical and legal custody. Physical custody refers to who the child lives with and when, while legal custody refers to who makes decisions about the child’s education, health, and welfare. Your child custody order is also likely to include visitation schedules and holiday/vacation schedules. These will outline specific times for the non-custodial parent (or parent with less than 50% of physical custody time) to see the child, as well as put in special provisions dictating holiday schedules and school breaks.
Regardless of what your custody order includes, both parents are legally required to follow its terms. Violating the order intentionally or repeatedly can have serious consequences, and should be addressed by an experienced child custody attorney.
Common Ways Parents Violate Child Custody Orders
There are many ways a parent can violate a custody order and seemingly minor infractions can be harmful overtime. One common violation is when a parent refuses to return the child to the other parent at the agreed-upon time. This undermines the schedule established in the court order, and can cause emotional distress for both the child and the other parent.
Another issue arises when a parent repeatedly fails to show up for their scheduled visits. This kind of ghosting can severly impact the child’s well-being and relationship with the non-custodial parent. Some parents may also take the child out of state, or even out of the country, without prior consent from the other parent and the court. This can result in a serious legal infraction.
Additional violations include intentionally blocking communication between the child and the other parent, or making unilateral decisions about the child’s schooling, healthcare, or living arrangements without involving the other parent, if the court order requires joint decision making. In some extreme cases, a parent may attempt to alienate the child by consistently speaking negatively about the other parent, or even manipulating the child’s feelings. This can lead to a long-term strain on the relationship between the child and the other parent, as well as be a cause for long-term psychological harm.
Why Some Parents Violate Custody Orders
While the reasons for custody violations vary from person-to-person and the understanding of these motivations can be tricky to nail-down, it is important to consider some of the common reasons why a parent may choose to violate a custody order. In some cases, a parent may be acting out of anger or resentment toward their former partner. They may use the child as leverage to get back at the other parent. This becomes particularly relevant if there is a history of terse relations between the parents, or if the relationship ended poorly.
In other cases, parents may choose to violate the custody agreement because they disagree with the terms of the court order and decide to take the judgment into their own hands. Rather than petitioning the court for a modification, they simply choose to violate the order. Control can also be a motivating factor for this type of violation. Some parents simply want to dominate the co-parenting dynamic and may use their noncompliance to assert power over the other parent. In other cases, a parent may have genuine concerns about the child’s safety with the other parent, but instead of using the proper legal channels, they act on their fear and take matters into their own hands.
Regardless of the motivation, most violations we see are a result of poor communication or a misunderstanding of the terms of an order. It is a good idea for both parents to foster a sense of mutual respect as the parents of their child together and separate their personal feelings regarding the other parent. This allows the parents to approach their custody order with a clear head and avoid breaching the terms of the agreement.
Documenting Violations of a Custody Order
Proper documentation is one of the most powerful tools you have when dealing with a non-compliant parent. The more evidence you can gather, the easier it will be for you to paint the narrative to the court and help them understand the scope and seriousness of the violations.
One effective method is to keep a detailed custody journal. You should record each incident where the court order was not followed and create a “log” of the frequent breaching. Be sure to include the date, time, a description of what happened, and how the violation impacted your child or your parenting time. Over time, this log can show a pattern of behavior that supports your legal case.
Additionally, it is important to save all forms of communication related to custody and visitation. Text messages, emails, and call logs can demonstrate your attempts to coordinate with the other parent. If your coparent is uncooperative, these records can also help to show their lack of cooperation.
If your case goes to trial, you will also need witnesses. Be sure to note any potential witnesses to your violations, such as a school official, babysitter, or mutual acquaintance. These statements can be pivotal in solidifying your narrative to the court.
As a last resort, if the other parent fails to return your child on time, or engages in behavior that raises immediate concern, you can file a police report. The police report will serve as an official record of the incident from a neutral third-party and can potentially be used in future court proceedings.
Legal Remedies for Violations of a Custody Order
When the other parent is repeatedly violating the custody order, you have several legal avenues available to enforce your rights and protect your child.
One of the most common legal actions is to file a motion for contempt of court. This action tells the court that the other parent has willfully disobeyed a legal order in place. If the court finds them in contempt, they may face penalties such as fines, required makeup parenting time, mandatory parenting classes, community service, and even jail-time. A contempt motion sends a clear message that the court order must be respected.
If the other parent’s behavior is ongoing or poses a threat to your child’s well-being, you may also request a modification of the custody order. To succeed in modifying the order, you must prove that a material change in circumstances has occurred and that the proposed changes serve the best interests of the child. Courts can be more likely to approve changes when one parent repeatedly violates the current agreement.
In certain situations, you may be able to involve law enforcement to enforce the custody order. If a parent refuses to hand over the child, or if they violate specific provisions, local police may be able to intervene. However, they will require a current copy of the court order to follow. However, keep in mind that many officers prefer custody disputes to be handled through the courts, as they cannot interpret the law, only enforce it.
If the violations are accompanied by harassment, threats, or dangerous behavior, you can also request a restraining order, or Temporary Order of Protection, to protect yourself and your child. Courts take allegations of abuse very seriously and can issue emergency protective orders when necessary.
How an Experienced Child Custody Attorney Can Help
Enforcing a custody order or seeking a modification can be legally complex and emotionally draining. That’s why it is always a good idea to work with a skilled child custody attorney who understands the law and can advocate on your behalf.
An attorney will help you understand your rights, gather and organize evidence, and determine the best legal strategy based on your unique situation. Whether you need to file a motion for contempt, request an emergency hearing, or negotiate a new custody arrangement, a knowledgeable lawyer can provide critical guidance every step of the way. Having legal representation not only improves your chances of success, but it also sends a strong message to the other parent that you take the matter seriously and plan to follow it as written.
What NOT to Do If the Other Parent is Violating a Custody Order
While it is natural to feel frustrated or even angry when the other parent doesn’t follow the custody order, you should resist the urge to take matters into your own hands. Retaliating – such as by withholding visitation from the other parent, can harm your own legal standing and give the appearance that you are also violating the order. Similarly, you should avoid confronting the other parent in an aggressive or threatening manner. Emotional confrontations rarely lead to resolution and can be used against you in court. It is also essential to continue following the custody order on your end. Even if the other parent is violating the terms, you must remain compliant to demonstrate that you are acting in good faith and not engaging in their games.
Don’t ignore repeated violations or hope the situation will resolve itself. If you fail to document issues and take timely action, the court may interpret your inaction as acceptance or consent to the other party’s actions. Instead, by consistent, stay calm, and work through the available legal channels.
When Custody Violations Become Parental Kidnapping
In some extreme cases, a custody violation may escalate to what is legally considered as parental kidnapping. This means that a parent has taken or kept a child in direct violation of a custody order and intends to deprive the other parent of their parental rights. Parental kidnapping is a criminal offense and can result in arrest, fines, and even prison time. If your child has been taken away or hidden by the other parent with your consent, you may want to contact law enforcement. If you are working with a child custody lawyer, speak with them and they may file an emergency motion with the court in an attempt to have the child returned. Swift action is crucial in these situations, so delays will only complicate the recovery process and increase the risk to your child.
We're Here For You
Dealing with a parent who refuses to follow a child custody order can be incredibly stressful and disruptive. But, you are not powerless. Custody orders are legal documents and violations can be met with serious legal consequences. By documenting violations, seeking legal guidance, and pursuing the appropriate remedies through the courts, you can protect your parental rights and maintain the stability your child needs.
Always prioritize your child’s well-being and avoid retaliatory actions that could hurt your case. With the support of an experienced child custody attorney, you can work to take control of the situation and work toward a resolution that ensures fairness and consistency. If you’re dealing with a parent that is violating a custody order from the court, it’s time to take action. Our experienced family law team can help you file for contempt, request a custody modification, or take emergency legal steps when necessary.
Contact our office today to schedule your 45-minute initial consultation with one of our child custody experts. We’ll help you understand your rights, explore your legal options, and build a strong case to protect your child’s best interests. At Douglas Family Law Group, PLLC, we fight for what’s most important to YOU, during divorce and family law matters.
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