Contested Divorce in New York
How to Prepare and Handle Your Contested Divorce in New York
Divorce is difficult, there’s no hiding that. But wen spouses cannot agree on the essential terms, the process can become even more complex, costly, and emotionally draining. This is what is commonly referred to as a “Contested Divorce”.
If you are facing a contested divorce in New York, preparation and mindset are everything. The decisions you make early on, and the way you conduct yourself throughout the process, will affect your finances, your parental rights, and even your emotional well-being. This week’s blog explains what exactly a contested divorce means in New York, how the process will typically work, and provides strategies to help you prepare and handle yourself as you navigate the legal process.
What is a Contested Divorce in New York?
A divorce is considered “contested” when you and your spouse cannot agree on one or more key issues. The key issues refer to:
- Property Division (equitable distribution)
- Child custody and visitation
- Child support
- Spousal maintenance
- Allocation of marital debts
Contested divorces also often involve interim disagreements, such as who remains in the marital home, who has interim custody of the children, and even who pays interim support. While New York has multiple grounds for divorce, most today are filed as “no-fault” divorces, citing New York Domestic Relations Law, Section 170(7). As a result, the point of “contest” is about the terms of the separation, rather than whether the divorce should happen.
Since these disputes can be very difficult to navigate, and often require the court’s intervention, contested divorces tend to take longer, cost more, and involve court appearances, as opposed to an uncontested divorce.
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The Legal Roadmap of a Contested Divorce in New York
While every case is unique, the following roadmap is the general sequence of events in a contested divorce:
- Filing and Service
One spouse (the plaintiff) files the initial divorce papers, which includes the Summons and Verified Complaint. The papers must then be formally served on the other spouse (the defendant).
- Response
The defendant will have a set amount of time to respond by filing a Notice of Appearance, or an Answer and Counterclaim, which is how they formally contest the divorce or its terms.
- Request for Judicial Intervention (RJI)
When a disagreement remains, or if the filing spouse wants to proceed immediately to a contested divorce, they will file an RJI, which officially brings the case before a judge. The RJI is essentially the spouse’s way of stating that a court will be needed to reach an agreement between the parties.
- Preliminary Conference
The court will schedule a preliminary conference once the judge has been assigned as a result of the RJI. Both spouses must exchange a Statement of Net Worth, which outlines their income, assets, debts, and expenses. This is commonly done through the attorneys for each party. At the conference, the judge will likely set timelines for discovery, as well as outline any necessary process for filing and arguing motions.
- Discovery and Disclosure
This stage involves exchanging financial documents, taking depositions, appraisals of assets, and gathering evidence. Discovery is designed to help each side understand the other’s position, and is often where disputes can intensify.
- Motions and Interim Relief
If temporary issues arise, such as interim custody or support arrangements, either spouse may file motions. Judges may issue interim orders to maintain stability while the divorce is ongoing, since divorces can take several years to be finalized.
- Settlement Discussions and Pre-Trial Conferences
Settlement tends to be strongly encouraged, when feasible. This is because the court will step in to make final determinations, if the parties are unable to reach an agreement on the key terms of the divorce, which can result in neither party getting what they want. Settlement can be reached through negotiation between parties and their attorneys to identify compromises that may work better for both parties than a likely judgment from the court would. But, if settlement fails, then the case will proceed to trial and be out of the parties’ hands to decide.
- Trial
If no agreement is reached, the judge will hear testimony, review evidence, and make final decisions on the disputed issues. Afterward, the court will issue a Judgment of Divorce, outlining their decisions that the party will be obligated to follow.
How to Prepare for a Contested Divorce
Preparation can dramatically impact the outcome of your divorce, financially, legally, and emotionally.
To start, you will want to hire an experienced New York divorce attorney. Contested divorces are complex, so having an experienced attorney that knows how to properly approach a divorce in New York is critical to ensuring that your rights are protected and your interests are advocated for.
Your attorney will likely collect the financial documents that will be needed in the process. This can be a lengthy, strenuous step, but it is crucial that you take the time to fully track down and organize your tax returns, W-2s, 1099s, and pay stubs. Your attorney will likely also ask for up to 3 years’ worth of your bank account, credit card, retirement accounts, and investment account statements. Any ownership documents relating to your assets, such as property records, car titles, appraisals, deeds, and business ownership documents will also be necessary to compile. Lastly, if there are any debts that you are responsible for, such as credit card debts, student debt, or mortgages, these will also need to be given to your attorneys.
These documents will help you and your attorneys develop a clear understanding of your financials as you identify what is available for equitable distribution. It will also help to identify your current standard of living, which will be factored into the discussions around child support, spousal maintenance, and any types of payouts that may be applicable. As the financial picture becomes more transparent, your attorney may discuss the potential for making a motion for your spouse to pay a portion of your legal fees. If you are concerned that your spouse may have an edge in court due to their increased resources, speak with an experienced New York divorce attorney to discuss the potential for a motion for counsel fees.
In any event, remember that knowledge is power. Your skilled divorce attorney will help you understand how the law works in New York so you can be adequately informed as you approach settlement negotiations, or advance to trials. Things to always keep in mind as you navigate your contested divorce are:
- New York divides marital property “fairly”, which does not always mean an even split between the parties;
- Child support and spousal maintenance guidelines are used by the court to determine the payments. While the courts use formulas, the ultimate amount may be modified based on circumstances in the marriage;
- Judges in New York base custody and visitation on the “best interests of the child” standard.
The more you understand the laws in New York, the better you can make informed choices. Keep in mind, though, that your emotional health is just as important as staying informed and current with your court proceedings. A contested divorce is one of life’s most stressful experiences, and taking in all of this information, while still fighting for your interests, will likely take a toll on your mental health. We often recommend that clients work with a licensed therapist or counselor, lean on their trusted friends and family, limit unnecessary contact with their spouse in particularly contentious matters, and practice self-care routines.
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How to Conduct Yourself During a Contested Divorce
The way you act during a divorce can affect how a judge views you, influence negotiations, and impact your overall well-being. To paint yourself in the best light, it is always a good idea to follow these points:
Be Professional and Punctual
Always work with your divorce attorney to make sure that all court deadlines are met. When you miss deadlines, it can rub the Judge the wrong way and seriously harm your case. To help meet these deadlines, always respond promptly to any requests your attorney makes. Remember, they are there to help you and represent you, not to judge you. Be sure you give them the whole picture, not just the parts that you think make you look good.
When it comes to court appearances and settlement meetings, always appear respectfully and composed, and always on time.
Stay Focused on Major Issues
Do your best to avoid turning your divorce into a battleground over minor disputes. Judges appreciate spouses who prioritize the most important issues rather than fighting over everything.
You can maintain your credibility by staying focused on the divorce and its key terms of separation, as opposed to getting lost in the weeds of the emotionally charged back and forth that is inevitable in a contested divorce. Your credibility will help you stay on-track when you are in front of the judge and the opposing parties, so be sure to be truthful and transparent in all of your disclosures and testimony, stay consistent in your statements, and avoid exaggerations or omissions. Also be sure to control your emotions. Don’t vent about your case on social media, as these posts can be used against you. If you send hostile texts or emails to your spouse, this will also likely be used against you, so try and keep your communication business-like and brief with your spouse.
Remember, if you do not reach a settlement, you will be required to comply with the court’s Order. Always stay open to a potential settlement, as you are the one that contributes to the narrative of your ultimate separation, not the Court. Of course, if settlement is unattainable, the court will have no choice but to make the decisions for you, but be sure to speak with your attorneys regarding your options.
We’re Here For You
If you are facing a contested divorce in New York, we know it’s not easy. Our team is here to help you navigate this time consuming, financially and emotionally demanding time. Our office’s preparation, professional guidance, and experience in divorce litigation can help you understand how to navigate the divorce, and develop winning strategies to make sure that you start your next chapter on the right footing. Contact our office today to begin planning for your next chapter, we’re here to help you fight for what’s most important to YOU in divorce.
