Before mentioning your intentions to file for divorce, you should really consider your motives for proceeding with a divorce. Even when it has been discussed before, officially moving forward with a divorce will often lead to a strong emotional response from your spouse. This is especially true when the news will be unexpected from you. While you should not feel guilty for wanting to move forward with a divorce, you should be certain that you want to move ahead with one and be aware of the emotional damage it may inflict on the other party.

If you are uncertain if divorce is the best decision for you to go through with, you may want to consider seeing a therapist that specializes in relationships and marriage. If you and your spouse are serious about reconciling any differences or conflicts that may be a driving force for your divorce considerations, you can always consider couple’s therapy. This can also help to soften the blow of telling your spouse that you have filed for a divorce. If you go to a therapist together to work on your marriage, they will likely know what your primary concerns are in the marriage and that you are unhappy with the current dynamic.

If you do not choose to move forward with a therapist, it is always a good idea to explain your thought process behind your desire for a divorce. If you approach your partner with your concerns about the marriage and your relationship, they may be less likely to feel blindsided or betrayed when you inform them of your firm decision to move forward with a divorce. It will also foster a sense of understanding with your spouse that may reduce negative emotions, which often lead to messy and contentious divorces.

It is important to also remember that the person you are divorcing was at one point a person you loved deeply and wanted to build a future with. No one gets married with the intent to go through a divorce. Remember that the person you are divorcing is someone you respected and loved for a period of time, no matter how hard a divorce may seem, or how angry you may be during the divorce.

As previously mentioned, understanding the other person’s emotions is a particularly important consideration as you begin the divorce process. Improper and emotionally charged interactions with your spouse during divorce can lead to a drawn-out and contentious divorce process. If you enter into the divorce from a point of respect and maturity, your divorce is more likely to remain more efficient. There is no such thing as a pleasant divorce, however, your divorce does not necessarily need to become intense and emotionally charged.